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[August 6, 06//12:52pm] new journal! thisisthenewwar ♥ comment.

[July 29, 06//3:44pm] ( some summer visuals ) [4]+ comment.

ummm. [July 20, 06//8:34pm] ( So, I kinda saw someone in Kitson on Saturday... ) [10]+ comment.

WEEKEND UPDATE! [June 21, 06//12:45pm] ( FRIDAY. ) ( SATURDAY. ) ( SUNDAY. ) [6]+ comment.

[June 19, 06//5:01pm] (who wants to go with me?) [4]+ comment.

[June 13, 06//2:39pm] [ music | kill the moonlight! ] Oh, Lord. Let's see. I haven't been doing much of anything this summer--but that's definitely a good thing. I've been working a little bit, reading a hell of a lotta books, going to the gym with Kadie, and getting extremely involved in The Simple Life season 4 and The Hills. Oh Jeez. Fortunately, I've been seeing a lot of Kadie, Rob, and Nikki. Unfortunately, I've seen barely any Dan or Jay. Shit it was Jay's birthday yesterday. I suck as a friend. I saw Rob and Nikki last week, they brought me some coffee that I asked them not to get. This Friday Nikki's having a party so that should be pretty awesome. I went up to Ryan's on Thursday and stayed till Saturday. We went out to the mall and did some shopping, went to the Dungen show with Aaron (which was, of course, AMAZING), played Ryan's new video game, read and watched a movie. And cooked lots of yummy food. I miss him ♥ Going to San Diego with the fam for a week in July. Should be pretty amazing. So that's about it. I'm hoping to see my Meghan & Bryan and the girls veryyy soon. ♥ CALL! I'll take some pictures at the party and post them next week! L-O-V-E. [2]+ comment.

[May 13, 06//11:50am] I miss my love train. AKA Meghan. Boo. Friends may call. I am home! [2]+ comment.

[May 4, 06//6:19pm] Home tomorrow! And Jenny<333 LOVE. [8]+ comment.

[April 22, 06//10:19pm] I just got myself to blame Is everything up to fate When there's choices I could make When there's choices I could make Yeah, my heart needs a polygraph Always so eager to pack my bags When I really wanna stay When I really wanna stay WHEN I WANNA STAY. Each quarter note, each marble step Walk up and down that lonely treble clef Each wanting the next one Each wanting the next one to arrive Each wanting the next one Each wanting the next one to arrive [1]+ comment.

the god-honest truth. [April 5, 06//8:43pm] I love Ryan Connelly. He, Kadie Migliarese and Dan O'Connor are my best friends. I hope to never lose them. I'm really glad I met Meghan McCarthy. My life is definitely in transition. I'm trying to move on from an intense relationship. I'm trying to make more friends. I took on another major. I really don't even feel like I want to be a psychologist anymore. I have absolutely no idea where my life is going right now. I mean, I know everything will be fine. I'm surprisingly finding it exciting that I don't have my life set in stone. I really like learning and everything, but I just want to move on to the next step. I'm really anxious to get wherever I'm going, even though I'm enjoying the fact that I don't quite know where that place is. This semester is almost over, and I have no idea what the summer is going to be like. I still fight my eating disorder. Every day. I hope someday that will end, but for now everyone is just so concerned with appearance that I can't help but think about mine. I wish people wouldn't worry, and I wish I wouldn't worry either. Some days I really just want to go up to the people who piss me off and say "fuck you" and punch them in the face. I think I would find that very fulfilling. And another thing, while I'm at it, I wish people would shut up about their goddamn GPAs. It's annoying. Okay. I think I'm done! LOVE. [2]+ comment.

[March 28, 06//6:11pm] Quick and incomplete recap: Spring break. I was sick with strep. But I got over it. Party at Greg's w. Allison, Rob, Nikki and Drew. Italian dinner w. Kadie, movie-watching. For real. Kadie and I saw Capote, me for the second time. It was amazing. Then I wrote a paper. Dinner w. Kadie and Dan. Funnn. Back to school. Rob came up! We dined, went to Starbucks and watched a lot of Law & Order. Uhh, school. Hung out w. Meghan & Bryan and stufff. More school and stuff. This past weekend I went home and watched movies/tv w. mom and went out to breakfast with my bro and Celia. Now back to school. Ugh. But there's just one burning question... DO YOU LOVE IT? [7]+ comment.

[February 22, 06//10:19am] Meghan is amazing? And I love her? And we're like, the same person? I have laryngitis. Boo! [6]+ comment.

[February 18, 06//9:08pm] I feel very old for my nineteen years. It's sad. It really is. [2]+ comment.

[February 13, 06//2:24pm] [ music | spoon ] valentine's day is stupid. except apparently i have a date w. meghan, so i guess it's not so bad! came home for the weekend, i needed to get away. hung out with my mom and watched movies. got snowed in with my brother, celia, and jen. it was fun. i hope this week is better than last week. thanks to everyone for their words of encouragement, they mean a lot to me. a lot of things are changing and i am getting close to being ready to tackle everything. we move on. and on. [14]+ comment.

[February 12, 06//7:06pm] i can do this. [4]+ comment.

[February 7, 06//6:03pm] is this really what you want? is this really what you want? comment.

[February 6, 06//8:46pm] Well once I gave a look to you but you never gave it back So here I stand expressionless but my memory's intact I guess the past is good for a laugh A comedy so dry and black It makes my stomach hurt so bad, I cried So two thumbs up we give this one despite it's predictable ending Dialogue seemed rushed and wrong but the actors did their best To lay some worth on every word Like coffins dropped into the earth The saddest sound I ever heard, we sang along We sang it, take this weight away We sang it, take this weight away We sang it, take this weight away Away Away. [6]+ comment.

[February 1, 06//6:40pm] I just want to be sure about this. [9]+ comment.

[February 1, 06//4:03pm] HAPPY B-DAY ANDREA!! ♥ Note to anyone: Please do not try and steal my credit card information, it makes me very mad. Thanks. [9]+ comment.

[January 26, 06//5:40pm] I'm staring out into that vacuum again from the back porch of my mind the only thing that's alive, I'm all there is. and I start attacking my vodka stab the ice with my straw my eyes have turned red as stoplights you seem ready to walk you know I'll call you eventually when I wanna talk, 'til then you're invisible cause there's this switch that gets hit and it all stops making sense and in the middle of drinks maybe the fifth or the sixth I'm completely alone at a table of friends I feel nothing for them I feel nothing, nothing. well I need a break from the city again I think I'll ship myself back west I've got a friend there she says, "hey anytime" unless that offers expired I have been less than frequent she's under no obligation to indulge every whim and I'm so ungrateful, I take she gives and forgives and I keep forgetting it and each morning she wakes with a dream to describe something lovely that bloomed in her beautiful mind i say, "I'll trade you one for two nightmares of mine, I have some where I die, I have some where we all die" I'm thinking of quitting drinking again I know I've said that a couple of times and I'm always changing my mind well I guess I am but there's this burn in my stomach and there's this pain in my side and when I kneel at the toilet and the morning's clean light pours in through the window sometimes I pray I don't die I'm a goddamn hypocrite but then night rolls around and it all starts making sense there is no right way or wrong way, you just have to live and so I do what I do, and at least I exist what could mean more than this? what would mean more, mean more? [4]+ comment.

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